Content warnings used to be useful. It’s helpful to know when there’s going to be mature language, excessive violence, sex, and the use of fog, strobes, and cigarettes. I’m mixed about warnings of gunshots, since that’s a spoiler, but understandable, given gun violence in the US. These are reasonable warnings to help decide whether someone is old enough to see something or whether they want to be exposed to possible health risks.

However, they’ve lately turned increasingly ridiculous. USC’s School of Dramatic Arts added warnings to everything, which range from dumb to truly infantilizing:

The Importance of Being Earnest, Much Ado About Nothing: “Please be advised this production contains outdated expectations of gender roles and classist statements.” (Screenshot, 2)

Twelve Angry Jurors: “Please note that this production includes adult language and themes.” (Screenshot) Fine, but unnecessary. The description is pretty clear on what the show contains.

Richard III: “Please be advised that this production contains adult themes and language, including ableist language and attitudes, as well as depictions of violence and manipulation.” (Screenshot) So many of these warnings are moralizing dictates on how to think. I’m sick of it.

Rent: “Please note, this production contains adult language and themes, depictions of homophobia, substance abuse and addiction, death and housing vulnerability.” (Screenshot) Who would have guessed that in a musical called Rent, people would be worried about losing their homes? When this first came out, all these “triggers” were why it became popular. It even became a very funny scene in Team America (2004).

Chavez Ravine: An L.A. Ghost Story: “Please be advised, this production contains adult language and themes, police brutality, housing vulnerability, depictions of classism, white supremacy and child abuse.” (Screenshot) From this warning, you’d think it’s a dour experience. I saw the authors perform this at the Kirk Douglas Theatre, and it’s nowhere near the downer USC suggests. The content warning from Center Theatre Group? A concise and spoiler-free “Recommended for audiences ages 16+. Children 6 and under who may cry or fidget are never admitted.” (Screenshot)

Assassins: “Please be advised that this production most likely contains discriminatory language, and depictions of gun violence, death and suicide.” (Screenshot) “Most likely??” Who is writing this garbage? At least have the decency to read the work in question. There are even full bootlegs on YouTube!

New Works Festival: “Please note, these productions are a work in progress, thus they may or may not contain undefined triggering content, images and/or sounds.” (Screenshot, 2, 3) Way to go, further trivializing the word “trigger.”

Nicholas Nickleby, Myths and Hymns, Caught: “Please be advised that this production may contain triggering content.” (Screenshot, 2, 3)

Useless.

Meanwhile, a few miles away at REDCAT…

The Nosebleed: “The Nosebleed contains loud sounds, the depiction of a nosebleed, estrangement with a parent, mentions of death, use of profanity, microaggressions, and mentions of sexual harassment.” (Screenshot) I was kind of interested in seeing this. The description makes it sound worthwhile, but the warning makes me think, “Why bother?”

Magdalene: “Magdalene contains nudity and mature content.” (Screenshot) A good warning that tells me what I need to know. I can read the description and infer further whether it’s appropriate for me.

The more comprehensive and spoiler-ridden content warnings become, the more I’m reminded of the crying scene in Fahrenheit 451 (1966).